I had a couple of pleasant hours yesterday, ‘wiv me mate’ Neill down at the Vic; actually, when I arrived, it was pretty noisy, there was some sort of pool competition going on, and the barman was running it, and neglecting his duties, well as far as I’m concerned he was.
He was more interested in yelling into a microphone, and running the competition, than doing what he was getting paid for; flogging booze!Ā šæ š Naturally being a bossy sort of bloke, I pulled him into line by requesting that he stop yelling; well telling him more like it.Ā
When Neill arrived a bit before me; (he usually gets there ahead of me and and has a quite drink or three before getting an ear-bashing from his mate) this barmanĀ told him he’d have to wait for 10 minutes, as he was busy running the competition would you believe. Emma, the barmaid,Ā must have been off on her lunch break.
I’ll let Neill give you the full story, in ten thousand words, or moreĀ šĀ when he writes his comment. š
I assure you, that had I having been running the pub, this barman bloke, would be down at Centrelink today, looking for a new job, and/or registering for unemployment benefits. š
Suitably chastised, the barman bloke,Ā reseated us at another table, and turned the speakers off,Ā we would not be bothered with his noise; (he’d still have been down there at Centrelink today though) šæ
Neill, of course, was enjoying the best beer on tap, I must admit it’s a delightful drop,Ā 
which I once enjoyed; and yes, that is rather a large glass, half a litre to be precise. I’m sad to say, that I have lost my taste for beer, although I did have a sip of Neill’s, I new I’d not enjoy drinking a couple of litres of it, over the next couple of hours, so I stuck to the Guinness; content in the knowledge that ”Ā Guinness is good for you” ;Ā Ā Ā 
Ā Ā Ā Ā that used to be their old advertising slogan; when I was a lad in England, you’d see it on the side of the old buses, so I know it’s true š
Had any of you taken the trouble to read the bit of repartee, between Yvonne and me, on the last post, you’d recall she told me to put some meat, back on the bones, or some such nonsense/rubbish. I mentioned that I’m quite skeletal now, and that I’d take some photos of my hands, to show/emphasize, the fact, except I couldn’t work out how to take photos of my hands, when they’re holding the damned camera, and that when I went to the pub to meet up ‘wiv me mate Neill’ I’d get him to take a pic and here it is.
Don’t say you were not warned;Ā
I wonder; should I perhaps put an “R” rating on this post?
I had nice hands once š„
LordBeariOfBow 
. . . I enjoyed the digital photo . . .
LikeLiked by 2 people
Perhaps you’d like to play around with it, I never bother copyrighting my stuff in the hope that some skilled artisan will improve upon it š
LikeLike
Truthfully, I don’t like meddling with other people’s digits.
Also, to play around with a photo, one requires a good copy of it (preferably, the original).
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll send you my mobile phone, give me the address š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure what you would want me to do.
. . . I could put a frame around them . . .
Can’t trust these American migrants , trying to frame innocent Limeys
LikeLiked by 1 person
What an adventurous Sunday.
In future it may be prudent to bring your own supply, and if questioned, or admonished, just quietly regale your tale of saving a fortune by not being able to order a drink.
Guinness is good for you, but believe Porter is even better. Well, that is according to my 19C books, wherein anyone who even looked a lighter shade of pale, a Porter was forced on them, and smelling salts wafted under their nose to keep them awake whilst drinking. Very sensible, I say.
Lovely to read your escape, and lovely photos.
Ira
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ira, Barbara joined us for a few minutes, only one missing was you š„
LikeLike
Now, I’m sorry I asked you to prove how skeletal you are. However, it did just strike me that we have absolutely no idea if those are your hands. Not that I’m a cynic or anything.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Surely you didn’t want my face in the picture too; glutton for punishment or just plain masochistic! šæ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes ….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did save a copy of the photo and edited it. Now they look lovely. Let’s see if I can attach a copy.
No, WordPress won’t allow that. You’ll just have to take me word for that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
email me a copy and I’ll post it š
LikeLiked by 2 people
Give me your email address and all your money …
LikeLike
If you look at my posts properly you will see me email address quite clearly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jeez, I get to do all the work. It’ll have to wait until I turn on the laptop in the morning, crusty old curmudgeon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Upload the photo to your media library and then copy and paste the link. That’s how I add photos in comments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aha! I will do that domani, disperser.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Non ĆØ giĆ domani dove sei?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Uffa, ma e ieri dove sei
LikeLike
Era ieri prima; adesso e domani.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you two having fun? Remember these are family pages, and you are requested to keep the language clean, and intelligible, at all times. SO WATCH THE LANGUAGE !!! šæ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sta zito!
LikeLike
. . . eh . . . volevi dire “zitto”?
LikeLike
Allora, con doppio “t”. š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you calling Emilio a dope or me???
LikeLiked by 1 person
If the shoe fits …
LikeLike
it’d make a change
LikeLiked by 1 person
. . . and I don’t think he’ll listen . . .
LikeLike
That didn’t seem to work for me. M’Lord will have to cope without photoshopped hands, I suspect
LikeLike
OK, here are the steps (assuming you’re using their new interface):
1) go to the home page of your blog
1a) assuming you are logged into WordPress, the upper left corner had a menu item called “my sites”
2) when you click on it, you should get a menu that slides out that includes the option “Media”
3) click on “Media” and the display should change to a visual list of you photos and other media (by visual I mean you can see what the photos look like)
4) drag the photo you want to share to that page and it should upload it and show up as the first photo (you can also click the “add” button and follow the prompts).
5) click on the photo you want and then click “edit”
6) a new screen should open with the photo in the center and menu options on the right side ā one of the options says “URL” and to the right of the URL there is a button labeled “copy”
6a) either click the button or just highlight the URL and then use Cntl-C key combination to copy it or right-hand click and choose “copy” to copy the highlighted URL.
7) go to ElBob’s post, choose add new comment (or reply to an existing one) paste the link (Cntl-V) or right-mouse click and choose “paste”.
8) click on “post comment” and the photo should show up just like this one I just did:
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for the (very detailed) tutorial. I had already tried this , but hadn’t tried dragging the image. So here I go again. (I love Bizzaro)
LikeLike
I’m thinking of billing you two
LikeLike
Jeez, I have just verified that I am a wee idiot. I hadn’t scrolled down far enough on the edit page. Now, I have the URL in my hot little grasp.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why didn’t you just ask Emilio, he’s very good at putting people into their rightful place; he’s had a lot of practice on me for the past several years. I’ve no doubt that if you ask him nicely he can tell you exactly how many. Efficiency is his middle name, think it must be something to do with his mechanical mind, nearly said maniacal mind
LikeLiked by 1 person
Coco doesn’t chase balls, he looks upon them with indifference, and the thrower with disdain!
LikeLike
Well I’ve coped without them for 83+ years now so I think I might manage
LikeLike
I’m one year behind you, so I guess I am forced to bow to you, M’Lud. I’ll work on that.
LikeLike
Thank you very much for the instructions I knew there was a way but hadn’t figured it out. I tried to add a photo to a comment on someone else’s site but my first attempt ended up as just the link, the second attempt was successful. I learned a lesson too, if I’m going to try something new then practise on the comments section on my own site where I can delete when it goes pear shaped! Thank you Disperser š Sorry for the hijack Brian!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome; I don’t know a lot about any one thing but I know a little about many things and I’m always happy to share what little I know in the hope others will do the same.
On this blog, for instance, I’m learning about being an unreasonable and cranky man in my 80s . . .
LikeLiked by 2 people
Are you another Cranky man in his eighties? Or did you mean you were picking up tips from Brian ? š
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m a cranky man in my 60s . . . picking up tips from The Master, ElBob hisself.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Emilio. I actually just found that out by reading your very interesting ABOUT page.
LikeLike
No worries Sue it’s always open season on my site/pages, I’m not like that disperser bloke, šæ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Brian š
LikeLike
Those look like perfectly serviceable fingers to me. If they can raise a glass and squeeze a granddaughter’s hand, what more could you ask?
LikeLiked by 4 people
I won’t argue with that but you must admit they’re pretty ugly š¦
š
LikeLike
Guinness is still good for you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes but probably not in the quantity I consumed yesterday š
LikeLike
I once met the man behind that Guinness advert at a dinner party
LikeLiked by 1 person
was he sober?
LikeLiked by 2 people
He was, indeed – and most amiable š
LikeLike
and he must have been pretty old when you dined with him as that first appeared in the
“1930s ā 1940s Bensons Advertising used animals, most famously the Toucan, to advertise the legendary stout. It was accompanied with the jingle: āToucans in their nests agree/Guinness is good for you/Try some today and see/What one or toucan do.ā for one of their adverts.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well remembered, Brian. As I remember he was in his 80s
LikeLike
That’s not old just looks that way
LikeLiked by 1 person
Years ago, when I was in England, I remember seeing that banner about Guinness, and how good it is for you. I thought, Really???. But it is, evidently, since it is on a bus. LOL!
LikeLike
If we can’t have faith in the integrity of buses what is left? trump?
aaaaaaah where’s the arsenic
LikeLike
Max Bygraves sprung to mind when I saw the photo! Well, I’m glad you got a couple of quiet hours at the pub. Lots of pubs here are spoilt these days by loud football matches on the TV Blokes shouting at the TV and quiz nights. Whatever happened to dominoes and a beer!
LikeLike
Old Max became a great favourite in Australia, in fact he settled here later in life.,
He died in Queensland aged 90.
The noise on Sunday at the Old Vic, wasn’t coming from the blokes playing pool, they were fine, but from the idiot barman, who liked the sound of his own voice. I never had much to do with dominoes but on the other hand ………………….. š was fond of a tipple or two š» šŗ š» šŗ š»
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didnāt realise Max had moved down under. My father-in-law got me into dominoes at the pub, we used to play with a couple of old guys. Actually, probably my age but back then they seemed old! A scout camp borders my land and a neighbour,the childrenās noise is no problem but the visiting weekend scout leaders insist on using a Microphone and that is so loud and annoying. The farmer next door complained and was told he shouldnāt live next to a scout camp if he didnāt like the noise. The farmer soon put the guy straight , but the cheek of it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you and Neil had a wonderful time!
Your hands say you have lived and loved and held and helped! They are beautiful hands!
š š
HUGS!!!
š
LikeLiked by 3 people
They look old tired and skeletal to me I’d like to trade them in on a new pair
LikeLiked by 1 person
Try a second hand shop!
LikeLiked by 1 person
they ran out š„ š
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you did, in short order you’d be asking to trade in more of your current appendages.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks to that lovely, warm, cuddly disperser (that’s me crawling) I can now present the slightly altered hands:
Or, these might be them, I got interrupted during the process.:
<3, M'Lord.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Argh, the 2nd ones should have looked like this:
I’ve had fun wasting time today!
LikeLiked by 1 person
and taking over my pages with the aid of that mugwump in Hawai’i
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I’ll delete them all, and thank you for the effort made.
Have you tried or given any thought to knitting or crocheting?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooh, I’ll knit you some new hands. Or a bridle for a mugwhump.
LikeLike
mugwhumps don’t need a bridle, they need a life š
LikeLike
Oi! I posted the photos, and they’ve been disappeared! Thanks to that lovable disperser person, I found out how to do it!
Now, you can choose between these 2 photos, M’Lord:
or, https://ytaba36.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/bernie-hands-2.jpg
I’m getting to be a whiz at photoshop!
ā¤
LikeLiked by 1 person
about time you got to be a whiz about something, I suggest you read the other comment I made regarding this. š šæ š»
LikeLike
LikeLiked by 2 people
I don’t think you’re going to win this one, Brian! The painted fingernails are quite becoming, don’t you think? š
LikeLike
NO!!!
š š š š
LikeLiked by 1 person
I admire your fighting spirit! š
LikeLike
and why wouldn’t anybody š š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hands down a funny post…and comment string
Hey Pied has a grasp on it.
Besides if by this age, those hands were smooth, and without blemish, all it would mean is that you hadn’t lived life.
(and everyone knows Guinness is good for you – did that company strike gold with their advertising campaign.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are some having great fun at what they believe is my expense, however I’m immune from their barbs; and as for the Guinness I do believe I’m enjoying it too much š š.
You may have noticed a comment from Derrick where he mentioned dining once with the man who coined the phrase. Actually it was one line, from a little rhyming poem, that caught the imagination and stayed.
Hadn’t thought of it as a funny post, but then again, I am English, which probably accounts for that š š
LikeLiked by 1 person
And some of us are easily amused HAHA
LikeLiked by 1 person
So all of that reminded me of a beautiful tango song which began “las manos de mi madre, las manos que yo quiero” but I can’t find a decent rendition of it on you-tube. Disperser may oblige with a translation if he is as proficient in his Spanish as Italian. (Fancy correcting Yvonne’s spelling when she was being rude.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
So, you agree . . . ElBob has girly-hands.
He won’t like that, I’d wager. As for correcting things in Spanish, that’s not a language I would feel comfortable correcting. I can work out some words but I’m not fluent in it. I mean, I might have written “manos femeninas” or “afeminado manos” but that’s not from a song; just the first thing that comes to mind.
LikeLiked by 2 people
If girly hands is all I have to worry about EJ then my problems and worries are small indeed š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmm. Might be grammatically correct, but the song is so beautifully and poignantly lyrical. “My mother’s hands, the hands I remember/desire” . . . it goes on to say how they are ravaged with too much work.
I don’t speak Spanish, but the song has never left me – even though I first heard it forty years ago. I don’t know a song in Italian which is precisely its equal. (of course, there is the Connie Francis song, but it doesn’t quite match)
LikeLike
It;s just that he likes to show off; just such a pity he isn’t so good wiv his Engalish as he is wiv his native Eyetalian š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha. I have a girlfriend who uses exactly THAT pronunciation. Hilarious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay I persevered and found this version. The words are in a different order than the way I first heard – but it has the same sentiment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EWVfg4i5dU
LikeLike