or, in the Eastend vernacular, of the great unwashed, of which I was once one;
“Pin back yer lug ‘oles an’ lissen”
On Thursday last, the first day of autumn here, up in the Southern Hemisphere, at 14.45 hours, I had the appointment with the audiologist, which I’d told you about in a previous post, and which by now, you will have completely forgotten.
Having a thing about punctuality, I, in company with the War Office, arrived there at 14.20 which gave me plenty of time to go get the bloke who’d fixed my ⌚️ watch, the day before, to check as I was having a slight problem. Also gave the W.O time to go buy her coffee which she’d forgotten to buy.
Promptly at 14.45 I/we were summoned into the presence of the audiologist, a young lady by the name of Minerva Ho. Obviously of Asian heritage but a dinki-di Aussie; who’s parents seemed to have a thing for ancient Roman mythology when it came to selecting names for their offspring. Well in Minerva case at least.
Pity they liked the Roman, not the Greek, as I much prefer Athene, and Greek mythology compared to the Roman and Jewish mythology. More fun 👿
Minerva then went to work on me. First with some headphones 🎧, and I could hear her, calling from somewhere just to the west of Zeus, oops Jupiter,the headphones gave the impression of someone calling/speaking to me from out of space, and I had some difficulty hearing what was being said.🙉🙉
I must say here that Minerva has an excellent speaking voice; I suppose she needs it in her line of work. She enunciates her words, slowly and clearly, and it is quite easy to understand what she’s saying.
Well whilst I had the headphones on. 😈
Stuffing (disperser likes stuff) my ears with some ear pieces, which were quite uncomfortable, she proceeded to put me through some exercises for want of a better word; where I had to sing out whenever I heard a sound, I found this very difficult and distressing.
Then she started speaking and I had to identify the words she uttered, at least I think it was Minerva saying the words. This was even more difficult. I must admit that I was feeling very uncomfortable whilst all this was going on and was getting quite agitated.
After completing the test, Minerva told me that I have a very severe, significant, hearing loss and that I was in great need of hearing aids.
She then produced a pair or aids, obviously an audiologists pair, that can be used, manipulated to fit/suit any of her patients; are we patients? I suppose in a sense we are, have to ask Mordred, anyone knows he will, King Arthur relied on him as do I . 😈
After making some adjustments, putting some things on the end, she plugged them into my ears and twiddled with her computer and then I started to hear quite clearly.
More twiddling, more refinements, and she turned, and told me, and the War Office who was witness to my agonies; to go for a stroll around the centre, have a coffee, ☕️ ☕️and get used to the sounds, the noises, inherent in such places and return in 10-15 minutes to see how I went.
So we did! With these things stuck in my ears we set forth; at first the sounds coming through was just a jumbled mess, gradually it started to clear and I could hear the stuff that purports to be music, and the sound of voices in conversation quite clearly.
I must admit that it awakened memories of years ago, when all these sounds and noises were an everyday thing, I was tempted to turn them off, and go back into what I realized was a very quite, almost silent,serene, existence. I also realized that the sounds that I was now hearing, were not the sounds that I’d heard with my old hearing aids, from some 10 years earlier and that I’d given the old heave ho.
Advanced technology! 🕬 🕬
We went back and Minerva told me of my options as to hearing aids.
Being a poor old. part pensioner, and senior citizen, I am entitled to a free pair of hearing aids, courtesy of the Australian Government, well not the present government, they’d like to get rid of our socialized system and embrace the US system, but of an Australian Labor Party government, past; (had to get a plug in for a decent humane system of government). 👏👏👏
There are various types and levels of aids, the Rolls Royce pair are around $8.999.00, if I planned to live another ten fifteen years I’d probably go for them, but as I’ll be lucky to see out Christmas, I went for a level up from the basic pair, which have some sort of automatic system, that will adjust to the environment which I’m in, without my having to fiddle and mess around with some buttons, or switches.
Something along those lines; and the cost is not great, or exorbitant.
The aids have been ordered, and are now being made, to the specifications of Miss Minerva Ho and will be ready for me, at 14.30 hours on Friday week, the 16th March.
I will switch them on on Sunday the 18th.