You’re not that lucky, I’m still here 😈
No, this is the last post I do about doctors & nurses, hospitals, blood and guts (mine). I’m just as fed up with it, as you all must be. Should that be y’all?
Yesterday, that’s Monday the 23rd, in case I don’t get to finish this ramble today; I rang Gods office and spoke to Angel Irene, at least I think it was A.Irene, with my hearing it might have been Gabriel; and cancelled my appointment to see him this Thursday. I did not make another!
I’ll pop along to see Nurse Percy each month, and she can give me my shot of whatever it is that keeps me going, I’ll do that this Thursday instead. I’ll see Dr Ping Nee at the same time and tell her of my decision.
That still leaves Prof. Kilian, the Cardiologist, I have an appointment to see him in a couple of months. As you know, he told me I need an operation to fix a valve, and I’d have to have that, before any operation for another cancer. As I am no longer bothering with that, it remains just the heart thing.
So what to do. I’ll refuse to have any operation unless I get a guarantee that I will not wake up after!
Seems pretty fair, the doc’s get some useful practice and I get a quick exit 😀
Of course I haven’t discussed this with any of my family, I wonder if anyone will realize on Thursday that I had an appointment with you know who 👿 I doubt it!
Death and dying is taboo, with my mob. I’ll tell you a little tale of something that happened a couple of weeks back, it’ll show you what I have to contend with.
I was sitting out on the front veranda with my son, Nathan Sebastian, and my daughter Emma arrived with Ruby, now Ruby likes to bring me a leaf that she’s found, or pick a little flower from the garden when she gets through the gate, which she hands me with a lovely, shy, smile.
The morning involved she picked a little white flower, don’t ask me what sort I have no idea, and when she handed it to me, I thanked her and told her how happy I was to get the nice new flower, because the last one had died.
POW! I got both barrels from son and daughter! “You can’t use that word!” What word””D.I.E.D.”, spelt out. “Why not?” ” Because she doesn’t know about such things” and so it went on.
Frankly I was disgusted. And I refuse to not speak and I refuse to spell words. Ruby is a very intelligent child, and human being, and should be treated as such and with respect; not brought up under a cloak of ignorance.
I can’t put it down to sending my three children to private church schools, for their education, as they’ve all turned out atheists, about the only thing we have in common. I do have thoughts on the matter which I shall not trouble you with.
So there we have it. No more of you know what, damned if I know what I’ll rave and ramble on about from hereon in, I’ll think of something hopefully! 😀
The next post on my well being, will be an obituary, all I need to do is find someone to write it, can’t rely on the family; they don’t use the ‘D.E.A.D.” word. 👿
Any volunteers?
🐻
LordBeariOfBow 
I was about to volunteer when I remembered your opinion of my writing.
Too bad, that. I would have added a few inches in stature (and a few other places if they’d be needed) and painted a picture of a demigod walking among us.
As it is, I think the best approach is for you to write your own obituary. Make sure to use lots of them smilies-thingies you so casually drop all over the place.
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Disperser would do a thorough job for you and even include lots of pictures! But writing your own is the best way to be sure everything gets said the way you want. Then put it where family will be sure to find it (says the woman who hasn’t done it yet for herself.)
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Right! There are a few things I would say.
First you really ought to write your own obituary. One of the saddest things that has happened to me in the last four years was when a blog that I had followed just stopped, short, never to go again and I never heard if the old man died. But he did. I think.
What you do is write one for all of us. Save it as a draft. And give someone you trust your WP password and when the deadly appointment has come he/she can open your blog, go to posts, open the draft and press publish.
Secondly if you can’t use the word d.i.e.d. in front of your grand daughter then write a special grand pa letter and get someone to give it to her at some appropriate time in the future. Even if she doesn’t get it until she is a teenager it will be a piece of real magic for her.
Third. Have a living wake. You can explain it all to your grand daughter as a very special un-birthday where every one comes and says lovely things about you.
Fourth. Tell you children that it’s time to talk about the d.e.a.d. word.
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So sound, John
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Couldn’t have put it better than John above. I mean, above in the comments, not “up above” or wherever it is atheists go / don’t go/ don’t care either way – insert as applicable. I did have an elderly friend, who when asked pre-op if he was allergic to anything, responded, “cemeteries”. You could always tell people that is why you are declining the operation alternatives. Do leave Ruby a letter though. That is a fabulous idea. Perhaps her parents are planning to introduce the D scenario around about when they have to break the news there is no Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy. They might consider her mature enough then 🙂
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I completely agree about euphemisms for death
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Your children are on the wrong track, just as you suspect. But I don’t blame them for wanting to have some control over how their child learns about death. It’s a parent’s prerogative, along with the sex talk, and other delicate subjects. You made me think about obituaries, and whether or not I should write one. Hmmm, not yet, I’ve decided.
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I agree entirely Diane, but they never listen to their father, just their mother. Shame really.
I’m with you about writing one now, kind of tempting fate don’t you think? 🙂
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My dear friend, it’s with great sorrow i read this post, I do however understand your “throwing in the towel” I know we haven’t been in contact as much as in the past, but you will always be a dear friend. I’ve always referred to you as the smartest man i know. I always felt that you should have been a politician, Now onto the subject of “Dead” as you may know I have custody of my 2 young grandsons, ages 5 and 7 now. In the past year they lost their grandfather and great grandmother. I felt very strongly they should be informed and be able to ask all the questions they wanted to ask. You are aware of my catholic background so your familiar with my beliefs. I found it very comforting at the great grandmothers funeral my 5 year old was wandering around all the people that were so very upset, telling them grandma was now in a much better place watching over them and no longer sick or tired. He went on to tell them how she wouldn’t want them to be sad. So many found so much comfort from this small child and he now has a very accepting outlook on death.
Love ya Always
Lisa
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I haven’t thrown in the towel Lisa, just that I’ve decided against any one chopping up and sowing me back together again,
Ive just posted another blog explaining this, at least I hope it does. 😀
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I think parents tend to be ridiculously over-protective when it comes to things like that. Our grandkids have come to accept that death is a normal thing that happens to some (like their father and some of their pets) sooner rather than later. It doesn’t freak them out.
Then, the subject of those who don’t want to come anywhere near the subject in the presence of someone probably terminally ill, or else have uncomfortable feelings in such presence. Maybe they’d adjust their thinking if they realised that the chances were quite strong that they would predecease that person. I’ve seen that ironical event happen quite a few times. The ‘I’m all right, Jacks’ turned out not to be!
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I wont argue with that Leslie, children are tougher and smarter than what some parents give them credit for. I can’t understand how my children have come to this way of thinking.
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Dear Brian,
So glad you came to a decision and told us (yes to y’all) about it. I find your account about not using the D.E.A.D. or D.I.E. word very strange indeed. I liked every one of John’s suggestions. I would also second (or third?) the idea of writing your own obituary. Maybe you might even share it right here on your blog? I think your decisions are sane, and sharing them helps me think about my end of life wishes.
Having grown up in (and still belonging to) a church, death has never been a secret, or even a taboo subject. I agree that parents are in charge of their own children. They cannot, however, control every conversation their children have with others, especially as they age. Bugs and flowers D.I.E. So do pets and grandpas. OK. Enough of that.
I don’t expect you to drop D.E.A.D. today or tomorrow, but just in case…I’m so glad I found you and your one-of-a-kind blog! You’ve challenged and cheered me in ways I never would have anticipated. And yes, I’ll continue praying for you as will so many of your friends. And lest I forget, I hope you’ll continue to post about your life.
Your friend from Over Here,
Elouise 🙂
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You trying to put the moz on me Elouise? It’s enough that they mention my name at St Brendan’s, without you adding to it 😦 😀
If you read todays follow up I think I’ve covered all that you were concerned about; and then some 😀 🐻
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Can’t wait to read it! 😊
Just got up. Rough night.😟💐
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I had a dear friend some years back who planned his own funeral. He hired a comedian to tell jokes and a clown to make balloon animals. He was quite a jokester during his life and always made us smile. At the time, I thought “that is the way I would like to be remembered,” but my sense of humor leans more toward the sarcastic side, so I am not certain all in attendance would appreciate my “smart ass” remarks. As I was once a dancer, perhaps I could throw what we used to call a “sock hop.” Here in the States, we dislike being inconvenienced for anything. Some mortuaries are offering drive-through services. One pulls up to the window and says his “sorries” and then pulls on. Be creative, Smith. Have the final say. You have earned it.
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There will never be a funeral for me Jeffers, off to the University to be chopped up and bottled.
I’m not planning on kicking the proverbial bucket quite yet, and I doubt I’d ever apologize for living, 😀
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