Back in the 1950’s I knew a real old timer, Joseph Patrick Henry O’Hagen Hart, and he’d spin great yarns. A comment on one of Garrulous Gwen’s, aka The Reluctant Retiree, posts brought back old memories and this is one.
Joseph Patrick Henry O’Hagen Hart, used to tell of a mate; ‘Cancer & Ulcers’, and it went like this………
“Now Cancer & Ulcers got his name by living on meat pies, never ate anything else, just meat pies, which is how come he got cancer and ulcers and died.
Cancer & Ulcers worked on the railways, he was a ticket seller at Spencer Street, and one day a bloke come in and wanted a ticket to Yackandandah; “Don’t go to Yackandandah” says C & U, ” go to Moe M. O. E, Moe”, cos he couldn’t spell Yackandandah.
On the ticket he’d have to write the luggage details, so he asked the bloke what he had and the bloke says “I have one portmanteau”. (Suitcases were still referred to as portmanteau’s in Victoria in 1951 when I arrived in Melbourne)
So, C & U scratched his head, and said, One ticket to Moe with one box, B O X box”, he couldn’t spell portmanteau either!”
Joe ( who was in his 80’s when I knew him). had quite a few tales to tell, this was the best, I was assured that this was a true story, I must admit I believed it then as I do now!
Sitting enjoying a nice cuppa on the veranda, I felt Old Joe turn in his grave, I’d omitted some of his name; I’d left out the Henry, as in ” I’m ‘enery the ateff I am”. so I’ve just fixed it. Now he can go back to sleep.