I actually wrote this lot of drivel on the 8th December (my wifes birthday) and never got around to finishing it but I thought I might just as well post it for what it’s worth! Theres a few more stuck in the draft folder and I might just bore you with those too!
The last time I went to see God, he told me that the next time he saw me, he wanted my weight to be up to, and preferably over, 75 kg. Strike 1, last week I was down around 66-67 kgs. which is 5 kg down from when last we met. It’s actually been fluctuating a fair bit lately, between 66 and 69.5. Obviously I’m doing somehing wrong!
Besides eating and following the diet as laid out by Michelle, my dietician, he suggested I drink a bottle of good heavy beer or stout, every day, to get my weight up. Trouble is I don’t enjoy booze anymore; I never ever thought I’d be saying/writing that. I did try drinking a 330 mL bottle of stout after eating my evening meal but I couldn’t enjoy it and it was taking over an hour for me to force it down. So I’ve given that away. I do have a small glass of red from time to time but not enough to do the trick. Stikes 2 & 3 I’ll have to think about and come back on if anything occurs to me.
I’m not the full bottle when it comes to television, there are so many channels on this Foxtel thing that the mind boggles, I scroll through and pay very little attention to what I see, however, a few weeks back the A&E raised my interest so I clicked this A&E channel open and lo and behold what appeared to be the pawnshop channel opened up before my very eyes. “Pawn Stars”, Hardcore Pawn”, Hollywood Pawn”, South AfricanPawn” even “Australian Pawn” , knowing I hadn’t signed up for what is termed “Adult” entertainment I knew that there was not a spelling mistake, although being a rupert murdock set-up anything is possible; (by the bye for those unfamiliar with my idiosyncracies, I never capitalize the names of people for whom I have little if no respect, the pollies get a hard time with my ramblings!).
Out of curiosity I opened up to have a gig at the program that was currently showing which proved to be this bloke in Detroit with the biggest pawn shop in Michigan, which he runs with his son and daughter, and what a delightful, charming, foul mouthed family they are, I don’t know if mummy/mommy ever shows up in the shop I’d hate to see what she’s like. Dad seems to have just one set of clothes, a leather type jacket, some sort of white shirt/jumper thing and a gold chain around his neck; which strikes me as odd, perhaps it’s a uniform. Anyway he strikes me as the most rapacious person I’ve ever laid eyes on, the sheer greed just shines through his eyes when he is trying to get something of value for nothing. His kids are the same. They’d never get a job elsewhere nothing surer, nobody would employ them.
Following this I became glued to the next program, Pawn Stars, another family affair this time in Las Vegas and just as crass as the previous show, but at least they try and pretend to be fine fellows.