Without doubt. Without question!
Back in August I posted a blog advising my reader/s / follower/s, that I had become a certifiable idiot, stuck in front of the idiot box watching the rubbish that passes as entertainment. Sorry to say that matters have deteriorated to the stage where I now find myself talking/yelling at the “stars” of the rubbish who are doing their level best to entertain me. I believe this to be quite in order as I am paying some ridiculous amount of money for these programs to a company known throughout the land as “Foxtel”. The fees which I pay also include the privilege and pleasure of sitting through innumerable ‘ads’, a pleasure I forego with the aid of the trusty control thingy.
For those unaware of “Foxtel” , it is a company formed by Mr. rupert murdock, and his 20th Century Fox organization with the Australian Telephone company Telstra. Mr. murdock as we all know is an avaricious ex-Australian who we have managed to offload upon our American cousins, who says Aussies haven’t got a sense of humour?
Thankfully I have not been seduced by the ‘soaps’ no ‘Days of our lives’ Bold and the beautiful’ for me no indeed I’m much more discerning in my selection of rubbish, I watch people knocking down walls and ceilings and kitchens and grieve with them when the costs escalates and they have no more money left and tragedy is afoot and cheer aloud when everything turns out well in the end. These programs emanate from Canada, the US of A and England as well as Australia, I’m sure I’ve seen many of these shows over and over again. I wouldn’t know for certain they’re all pretty mind numbing, which I suppose is why I’m watching this stuff.
There are a couple of Canadian boys, twins I think they go by the title “The Property Brothers” who are great at getting people to purchase a ‘fixer-upper’ at a great price (their words not mine) one of them is the contractor that fixes the place up. A win win situation for the twins, Drew gets his chop by way of commission in the sale/purchase of the properties and Jonathan gets his wack by spending the rest of their customers money on the repairs. But alls well at the end and everybody is smilling and happy. Trouble is that the smooth sophisticated Drew gets me riled more than anybody else on the tele, he hasn’t got the foggiest idea of the English language has no idea when to use me or I and I shout and scream at him ’til I’m blue in the face and he ignores me!
The final proof or Seduced by the ‘Dark Side’
Way back in the dim dark ages before I was born, the early 1920’s to be precise some smart alec in Melbourne came up with a brilliant idea to take away the sale of the English/British product called ‘Marmite’ with a distinctly Australian product which had no name until in a competition that was won by a pair of sister who thereafter and forever more became known as the ‘The Vegemite Sisters’, true!
Wisely the Australians of the day did not take to Vegemite in fact it was losing out so much to Marmite that a name change was called for and believe it or not the name given to it was ‘Parwill’ and the slogan “Marmite but Parwill” was taken up without any success and was eventually changed back to Vegemite. It still needed big heaps of giveaways (which included American Pontiac cars) before it finally became accepted around 1939 after the BMA endorsed it as a rich source of vitamin B, and became entrenched as the must have in the Australian pantry!
In the almost 65 years I have lived in Australia I have never taken to consuming this product, for those unaware of Vegemite let me give you a brief description, it is a black substance resembling cold moist tar/bitumen and first tasting will confirm this initial impression with the added taste of burnt yeast, which happens to be the basic compound in Vegemite, whether or not it’s burnt I don’t really know it just tastes that way.
This burnt yeast was originally obtained from the Carlton & United Brewery in Melbourne and once the stuff took off the makers of Vegemite needed all the used yeast they could get their hands on and eventually tied up every brewery in Australia cornering the market in second hand used burnt yeast.
Naturally when I arrived in Australia I had to try this black gooey substance that apparently was a must on toast for breakfast and your cheese sandwich at lunch and pretty well anything else you wished to kill the taste of, to say it didn’t appeal to my gentle palate is being polite, I found it quite nauseating and admit to gagging on it at first.
Over the years I gradually came to use it on occasion, perhaps once or twice a year I’d try it on a piece of toast or a cheese sandwich, hoping that perhaps it had changed and become an enjoyable part of my diet as it was to all of my Australian chums! I am pleased to announce that it never made it; I never succumbed to it’s dubious delights. All in all I suppose that over the past 64+ years I have consumed perhaps 100-120 grams; no more, whenever I did use it I’d just spread a very thin layer on whatever and then wipe most of it off which barely gave me the taste.
But now I’m using this stuff regularly. Since my release from hospital back in July everything has changed when it comes to food, I have had but one perfectly poached egg which was always my favourite breakfast, two perfectly poached eggs on hot buttered toast what a delightful way to start my day. All gone! 😥
In fact I no longer enjoy eggs at all, Michelle my dietician from the RPAH recommended I eat them and many more things which I no longer enjoy and have to force down but never fear I am now eating VEGEMITE regularly, I have consumed nearly a 225gm jar of the stuff since the 20th July which is more than twice what I’d eaten during the previous 64+ years and the trouble is I’m ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE STUFF. 😮
So there you have it convincing proof: I’m completely bonkers! 
LordBeariOfBow 
My Dear Lord Beari,
May I humbly seek permission to reblog this diatribe.
Your servant
John Suchled.
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Of course you may dear boy, although I cannot imagine why 🙄 By the bye I’ve inserted a video clip just to give the post a bit of life or some such rubbish! 😈
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Thank you.
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Hopefully your follower will stay loyal to you 😀
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My dear friend, the property brothers are one of my favorite shows, as well as several other home shows. I have always thought i would love to find an old home and turn it into something wonderful.
However, I have tried this but never got the results the brothers achieve. LOL not nearly enough money to accomplish this feat. As for your diet, after my (now first) heart surgery my taste changed drastically, unfortunately I began to crave sweets. Not good for a diabetic. It was good to see you post something, you may have posted others, not sure if you have seen my fb, but i had another heart attack last week and had to have more heart surgery. Enjoy your vegamite, I think Lucille Ball once did a show about that stuff. Take care of yourself, hope your doing well.
Love ya
Lisa
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Hell Lisa you’re having more trouble with your ticker? Maybe you should trade it in on a new one, but seriously I hope you are pulling through the terrible business of opertions once more and will recover fully to enjoy life once again.
The P Bs may be one of your favourite shows but I can’t help feeling that they are a couple of smart cookies who manage to con people into buying houses that they select for reno so they make big heaps of money to sustain their lifestyle of grandeur in Las Vegas.
This is my first post in quite a while I must try and get back into it more.
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. . . matches what I’ve always known about Australians . . . I learnt it all in the ’80s . . .
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I’m damned if I know what that clip does I couldn’t bear it and had to turn the noise off after 10 seconds, but it reminded me that I had intended to add a clip to the post which I have now succeeded in doing, believe me when I say it an acheivement when I get something like that attached to a post. Cheers ej,
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Well, it talks about Vegemite sandwiches, among other things.
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Thankfully I never got that far
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My Dear Lord It is always a delight to read your missives – they crack me up.
But am becoming very worried. Is it still you, or were you swapped in the hospital for a gentleman who now prefers vegemite whilst he cannot abide eggs.
I do feel that ASIO will need to be notified.
all the best and you and Neill and I will have to catch up for a coffee.
kind regards Ira
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I hope your chum at St Brendans doesn’t get jealous of you referring to me as ‘Lord’ I think somewhere he was supposed to have said that he was a jealous god, which seems to imply that there are others of whom he may be jealous, don’t you agree 😈
Coffee sounds good perhaps Sunday after you and Neill have been purified for the coming week.
Cheers Brian 😀
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Reblogged this on Cryptic Garland and commented:
Often times the muse takes a holiday, and so, to keep your attention I trawl through the world looking for post I would have liked to have written. And you should check out the blog of lordbeariofbow – a man of worth. He has been a bit crook of late and is not as active as he was which explains a bit.
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I thank you for the compliments CG, how worthy I am of them is a bit of a conundrum, I just hope my wife doesn’t read them, she’d give me plenty… 🙄
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Thank you. By the way I am the John to whom Yvonne referred. It’s all to do with pseudonyms as you well understand.
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Had I have been one of our Yankee cousins I’d have assumed from your reply that you were a customer of certain young (and old) ladies of the night, gentlemen usually referred to as the/ a ‘John’. 😈
I managed to find my way to yor webpage/site and actully saw the reblog of my ramblings on and noticed that it received more viewers and likes on your site than mine ever receives. 😥
Who knows fame may yet find me. 🙄
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A good follower is to be prized above gold. Who said that?
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You??? 😕
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It would take more than you, my Lord, to break the glue that binds us to John!
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You must excuse me Yvonne if I appears somewhat dumb but try as I might I’m not quite sure what ‘John’ has to do with Vegemite, unless you are an American cousin referring to the lavatory which is a possibility I suppose. True our Vegemite can be mistaken for glue
Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment, which I always appreciate, I hope you find time to return now and again.
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Even I, the author, had a hard time figuring out what I was on about. Then I realised that my cryptic comment was regarding another true Cryptic whose blog I follow, and whose name is John and who had reblogged your post on his blog.
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It all sounds most confusing don’t you think then again perhaps not; had I have known that John’s name was John then I wouldn’t have got him mixed up with a Yankee bathroom. It was jolly decent of him to reblog my ramblings I haven’t had that happen to any of my posts before.
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I’ve become one of your followers (that sounds very posh and regal), so I shan’t miss any of your ramblings.
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One more and I shall have 12 and have to change my name J…., the ramblings are few and far between at the moment, I hope that what there are won’t disappoint.
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Hope you’re improving Beari !!
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Thanks gp, yes I’m certinly improving but much more slowly than I expected, but then I suppose my age might well be responsible for that little problem, 😀
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